Where I've Been....

Honestly...I've had the desire to blog for the past couple of days...but have been such a wreck that I don't know what or how I would have blogged about anything. It's been a rough couple of days for some reason. But here's what I'm learning:

1) I can harbor a lot of bitterness.
2) I'm terribly selfish.

Go figure. Sinner that I am. I have been eat up with it this week...or maybe I'm just becoming more aware of it. I fall for the enemies line too much (he tends to whisper that I will find comfort in bitterness - often times it just points back to the selfishness)...and I'm quite fed up with it. I laid it out before God last night. We're working on it. Then this morning, wouldn't you know the title to the devo I'm working on is "Choose Freedom" - and it's talking about freedom from bitterness. Ouch. I need to choose to lay aside my judgment! I need to choose to forgive as I have been forgiven! I need to trust God for the future! I need to wait for God! Paul tells us to "Get rid of all bitterness.." in Ephesians. Doesn't say to hide or cover it up...put on a big, fake smile and go on. NO...he says put it off/get rid of it! I can't wait until the taste of bitterness will become repulsive and childish to me that I want absolutely nothing to do with it! I pray that it loses its attraction so very very soon! Hebrews 12:15 warns of the destruction such bitterness can have: "...lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." Sadly, I've participated in my share of it. I've confessed it. I'm often tempted to return to it. Pray that I don't. Pray that I leave it. That I put it off.

"God does not waste suffering, nor does He discipline out of caprice. If He plows, it is because He purposes a crop." J. Oswald Sanders

Friends

This afternoon I talked to someone on the phone and thought "I bet we would be great friends if we lived nearby." Truth...she lives in Panama. I will likely meet her at the end of the month at a conference. I called with two questions. We talked for 30 minutes. It was like we knew each other for years (until we had to clarify names and phone numbers - minor hiccup).

Then tonight, while chatting with another friend, I was reminded of how TRULY blessed I am with the friends I have. Would I like to have more? Of course. Who wouldn't? But the ones I have are pretty spiffy...and while I may add to them, I'll never trade them in! Thanks friends! Thanks for who you, for what you mean to me and for your invested time in this life!